the past few days.

I would like to start this blog by stating that as i sat down to begin, i noticed a giant spider on my bedroom door, and the spider was definitely picture worthy. so i took one. it was also a jumping spider, and it had about 6 lives. but, he is no more. :)

now  before i go any further, i need to tell you a story. about 6 months ago, Reagan and I were talking about our favorite things, tattoos, and each other. and we decided that one day we would love to get tattoos that are for each other, without being each others names. the decision was made that he would get a cheese pizza, since we ate cheese pizza on our first date, and i would get the siamese twins from the movie "Big Fish" since we watched that on our first date, and it is our favorite movie. :)

now, i would love to take some time to tell you all about the past few days. i have been so blessed with an amazing man in my life, and the past few days have really opened my eyes to that. This last weekend we celebrated Ashton's first birthday. Ashton is Reagan's nephew, for those who don't know. Reagan was finally able to have a day off and his mom even came into town. Saturday was an even more lovely day, because Reagan got his tax check.Whats the first thing he did? Took me to the mall and bought me two new pairs of jeans AND a sick ass throw back Jazz hoodie. coolest hoodie i have ever owned.

finally, sunday rolls around and it is time for reality to settle in. Sandy leaves town and Reagan returns to work. but then i get a phone call, and Reagan set me up an appointment to get work done on my sleeve.  what a pleasant and painful surprise. so I got to go see him at work for a few hours and get some serious work done on my arm. 3 hours later, i was ready for beddy. :) Now to set this story up for you, while i was getting my tattoo done, Reagan was writing the cutest little love letter in my notebook for me to find on a later date.

Monday night, was not so great. it was our 15 month anniversary, and we fought the whole day. When Reagan got home that night, I was extremely mad at him, for stupid reasons, and told him he did not make me feel appreciated and that I was sick of it. Little did i know he had spent the night before writing me a love letter. :(

Tuesday rolls around and we both feel just awful for fighting the night before, but the day had to go on, and we both went to work. We tried our best to make each other feel better and to tell ourselves that things will be find. We love each other way too much to let petty fights get between us. So then i get a call, from Reagan, saying I get to get a tattoo that night, his treat! what a sweet boy!! I get off work around 4:30 and head to the tattoo shop. I decide to get a lily, in memory of my fathers mother, Lily Melissa Wilson. it turned out beautiful. When i got to the tattoo shop, Reagan said he was gonna get a tattoo also, but didn't know what he was getting yet. I, yet again, got a little mean and said we couldn't afford to both get tattoos, but he said he had it covered. little did i know he got a slamming deal. :) so i get done with my tattoo around 9, and leave to get some food for the artist. when I come back, the station is all set up for Reagan's tattoo, but he still "doesn't know" what he is getting! so i start to get frustrated like "why the hell arent you deciding what you want to get?!" and then he walks into that back and grabs the stencil for his tattoo. and what is it? a slice of cheese pizza. i was floored. how could he be so sneaky and sweet, just for me? I was literally blushing for over an hour. it was the CHEESIEST tattoo i have ever seen. :) all i wanted to do was cry, because i felt so blessed. Then, we got home, and I found the love letter. :) it was the most amazing day i have had in a very long time. :) I seriously have the sweetest boyfriend in the entire world. I am so happy with where we are and things feel so fresh and new again. I feel like we are off on such a good foot now and nothing can bring us down. :)

To top the amazing week off, I get up today and go to work. and it feels like any normal day. I come home, a little tired and grumpy, and find an adorable picture on my bed, face down. on the back it says " for the 1 i love...J.L.W" and the picture itself, which Reagan painted, is a heart. His mind, heart, and soul are so beautiful. I am easily the luckiest girl in the entire world and nothing can get me down. I am so blessed with such an amazing man. Thank you baby, for all that you do. because of you,  I wake up smiling, and go to bed happy. :)

a day of quotes

today was very very busy and productive. I feel so tired i am not sure i can think of anything insightful to say. however, i have been blessed with a list a quotes, that i feel are important enough to share. so here they are. 

-He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away

-Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk . Design your character like the sky where everyone desire to reach.

-I don’t know if the optimists or the pessimists are right. But the optimists are going to get something done.

-When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

-Honesty needs no disguise nor ornament; be plain

-If we always helped one another, no one would need luck.

-smile easily, knowing that of all the things I wear, a smile and good humor are the most important. Life’s most prized possession is a pleasant disposition.

-You can be pleased with nothing when you are not pleased with yourself.


-When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.

-You’ve got to sing like you don’t need the money. You’ve got to love like you’ll never get hurt. You’ve got to dance like there’s nobody watching. You’ve got to come from the heart, if you want it to work.


-Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen


-The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live


-Love all. Serve all. Help ever. Hurt never.....

its only natural

well Mucinex, you do NOT live up to your commercials. i took you two hors ago and i feel the exact same. you suck. never again will i pay $22.99 for a bullshit bottle pills. haha. i made this picture today to show you how much i LOVE Mucinex. thats right people. Mucinex gets a -10 on my medicine scale. i want to know why you people think it is okay to charge so much money for your product when it simply sucks!! please excuse me while i cough, since my MUCINEX COUGH SUPPRESSANT DOESN'T WORK! dont worry, i am not bitter. i am simply going to write a letter to the people of mucinex and DEMAND my money back. these people suck.

now, onto more important things. my beautiful sister, melissa, is getting married in less than three months! and i have so much planning to do! I need to get started on her bridal shower! We are going to do a tea party theme, to coordinate with her wedding theme, alice in wonderland! i think it is going to be the most beautiful and creative wedding i have ever been to. But, the bridal shower just may turn into a disaster, considering i am not very creative. ='[ i want all of you to know that my blackberry landed on the keyboard of my laptop and created that frowny face all by itself. talk about a smart phone. haha. anyways, i have but one awesome bridal shower game picked out so far, but need at least a few more. so people, the purpose of this blog today is to get suggestions for awesome bridal shower games, preferably some that coordinate with the theme! ideas people! please and thank you. I am also accepting donations. bee tee dub.:)

salt lake city

what a beautiful sight. there are days when i just wish i could spend all day walking the streets, seeing all the amazing different cultures that salt lake has to offer. different people, different places, different beliefs, genders, sexual preferences, races, religions, politics, everything. if i could spend the rest of my life anywhere in the world, i would stick to salt lake city. this is my hometown. and boy, do i miss it. although my home is only about 45 miles away, it seems like a whole world of  difference. and although i love the home im in and the family i am making, i cannot help but sign deeply when thinking of the beautiful streets of salt lake city. and melissa, if your reading this, all i can hear in my head right now is your voice saying "why dont you just move back" haha. i love you sister. and i want to move back. and someday i will. but life to me, is about exploring! i have but one life to live, and for all i know, my life is more that half over! i could live til im 70 or til im 27. who knows. but i made a decision a while ago to never let anyone or anything hold me back from what MY life desires are. one of which is exploring new places. so someday, slc, i will be back to claim you as my forever home. but for now, you can be my runaway. my go to place when i need a break. our relationship will never die, and you will never get old. :)

rob thomas

this man has been very uplifting to me lately. I found myself in quite a hole for a while, and wasn't too sure if anyone could help me get out. life is tough when you have to tell yourself to take in one day at a time instead of just doing it. ya know? the beautiful music of rob thomas, however, was what i needed. his uplifting lyrics and unique music carried me through some of my rougher days. sometimes its the little things in life that  bring the most joy. speaking of which, i got an old fashioned manicure/pedicure combo today, and it was lovely. thanks to my amazing boyfriend, things are finally looking up. he knows exactly what to do and say, even more so than rob thomas, to make my heart skip a beat. i have noticed that although i spend a lot of time talking about things in life i need to change, or things i have simply accepted, i have not taking the time to really explain to the blogging world just how lucky i am to have a love in my life. although i am still young, and to some people, im too young to know true love, i do know that the love i have is true, young, and beautiful. I feel like i have known reagan my entire life, and i cannot imagine myself without him. we have already been through rough patches, good times, happy and sad, mad and fun, and through it all, 15 months later, i have never been happier. i wake up every day, feeling like the luckiest girl in the entire universe. he is the funniest, sweetest, grumpiest, cutest, most selfish and selfless, crude and unusual, stylish and colorblind, mix matched and uncoordinated, graceful and frumpy man i have ever met. i love that he is a walking contradiction. i love everything he is and everything he isn't. i cannot truly express in words just how blessed i am. until the day i die, your the one true love baby. :)

egg yolk

best monday i have had in a long time. sadly, my reagan was sick. however, it was so nice to be able to cuddle and take a two hour nap with him. i haven't done that in a long time and i miss it. got a possible opportunity for a job, thank you trissta hepting. It is a cleaning job, which rocks. I did a lot of house cleaning and sterile room cleaning over the summer and it was awesome. so although today did have its usual faults (i.e. new car wont start) all in all it was a wonderful day. watched "a day in the lyfe" about 5 times. learned a lot about art and the different styles. also learned a lot about people who always seem to be judged negatively. it gave a whole new meaning to dont judge a book by its cover. the type of people you think to be ass holes or selfish, actually appreciate other people and their passions more than their own. I have learned today to not judge so quickly. if you have ever been judged too quickly, you know how it feels to be seen only at the surface, and to have a negative judgement placed on you. a distinct memory i have is 7th grade. sounds like a million years ago, right? well in 7th grade, I was following in the footsteps of my older sister,8th grade, and her new found style. it seemed to me that after entering middle school, it  became very cool to dress like a "punk" which included baggy pants, band tees, studded belts, and every color of chucks you can find. so me, being a witty little one, decided to have a one up on everyone entering the 7th grade with me, by presenting the "style" on the first day of school. never in my life have i had so many people think i was a bitch. how awful is that? because i dressed like the older, punk crowd, i was suddenly a rude, stupid, scary person. come on people. i believe one person in particular who is reading this blog will understand exactly what im talking about. cuz she was right there with the rest of em, thinking i looked like a straight up bitch. haha. but i love her. ;) anyways. if there is one thing i have learned throughout my life, it is the amount of emotional and physical pain you can cause on someone, simply for judging them. been there done that bitches. give people the benefit of the doubt. lifes too short to hate! this music is distracting me, so im outta here. :) til tomorrow bloggers.

garlic

i wanna start this  blog by letting you know that i have garlic breath really bad. damn that cheese bread. i have discovered something about myself today that i know i have done for a long time and today was the first day i could really recognize it. there are certain situations in life when you really just feel attacked. and for me it always seems like the people i care for the most are the people i feel most attacked by. i know this is the norm for most people. why is it this way? is it because the people you care about are people you want to care back? and if you feel attacked its because you don't feel like they care? is attacking a way for people to show they care, or a way to show they don't? the struggle to understand the difference is something that i have battled with for a very long time. i have recently been presented with a few different situations where i have felt personally attacked by people that i really care about. and i find myself wondering who is wrong, me or them? is there a right or wrong? is there just one person who needs to adjust their insight or is it something that the two must work on together? sometimes i feel like i am being pulled to change and change and change who i am and how i approach situations that become heated. i wonder if it truly is me who is in the wrong, or if there is an ongoing battle between egos. i can see where these certain people are coming from when they tell me what i did that made them feel as though i was wrong. so why is it that i can see where they are coming from but they cannot see where i am coming from? and then i realized, they do. i have made a discovery about myself today. and it is this. in a situation when i feel attacked, i assume the worst. i assume that my point is not seen nor heard, and that they look at me as though i am insane! i know this sounds ridiculous but sadly its true! so now i need to teach myself how to grow from this. how do you grow from something that feels so much like a part of you? this is a struggle i have not yet conquered..and although it is an ongoing battle, i feel extremely confident that  i will be able to grow, and learn to trust. people aren't all bad, after all. and the ones that i truly care for, probably deserve it. to care for someone is to feel a deep connection to them. and i don't know about you, but i don't connect with enemies. this blog shows you once again how much growing i still need to do. i am 19 years young, with lots of learning to go. true friends wont say i told you so. i surround my life with  beautiful people. people that help me grow. people who pick me up when i'm down, and help me get back on track. i have surrounded myself with angels. :)