mambo number 5

#3. I am greatful for ericka richards. I have known her for roughly 9 years, and she has brightened my life in so many ways. She is The greatest friend I could ever ask for and I am so lucky to have her in my life. She cracks me up, pisses me off, says stupid stuff makes me feel. stupid, and sometimes we just want to punani punch each other. But we wouldn't have it any other way. :) love you girl!

#4: I am greatful for my bed. When I came home late, tired and still feeling sick, climbing into my bed was overly comfortable. I slept like an angel.

#5. I am thankful for jeggings. They are fabulous. I hate wearing denim. Its so heavy. Jeggings are joy. :)

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syrup

Jan 2, 2011: today I am thankful for cough drops. Self explanatory.

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giving thanks

To start the year off right, I have made a commitment to myself that every day in 2011 I will write a blog and list one thing that I am greatful for in my life. I do this in hopes that through the hard times in life, this list will bring me back down to earth and help me realize how good I have it. :)


January 1st 2011: today, I am thankful for the rotation of the earth, and the change between night and day that comes with it. Because with each passing day, new opportunities come up, and mistakes fade away.

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eventually, it all comes to an end

happy holidays everyone! I am so sorry I have been a blogging slacker! Life comes at you so fast and I am finally able to jump in with both feet and no regrets! I had a wonderful thanksgiving, surrounded by amazing family and friends. Mitch and kurtis came over and played geetar with me and ericka, and I felt so blessed to be surrounded by great people. After thanksgiving, I have kept myself very busy with last minute xmas shopping, work, and the occasional night out to the bar. I have met some amazing people recently, and am so glad I have been able to continue surrounding myself with positive energy and good people. Christmas came so quickly I cannot believe it is already over. It is the first christmas since high school without Reagan, and I thought it was going to be kind of hard. Thankfully, I have been blessed with such an amazing family, and tons of wonderful friends, so I felt only happiness this holiday season. :) my parents are such amazing souls. Like most other families, this year has been a hard one for them, and they are trying their best just to stay afloat. That's why this xmas all I wanted was to be with them. After me intruding on them last august with my unexpected move in, I feel like they have done more than enough for me. In passing, I did mention that someday soon there are two things I want to get for myself. 1 being a new guitar, since I have picked that hobby back up and I am really loving it. And 2 being a bicycle, because I want to exercise more and be a little kid at the same time. Well to my surprise, my parents seriously spoiled me rotten and got me both! The most adorable sea foam green and brown beach cruiser, and a gorgeous left handed acoustic guitar. It has been many years since I have truly cried out of pure joy, and I feel bad for that, but christmas morning, that all changed. I couldn't hold back the tears. I feel so blessed and happy to be back to myself again, and to have such a loving family by my side. And through all my thank yous to them, all they could say was "we are just so glad you are back baby. We missed you" words truly cannot express how much i love my family. And at the end of the day, it has nothing to do with the gifts. The fact that I woke up to a loving family and friends on christmas morning truly meant the world to me. :) the rest of the day was very mellow. Breakfast at grandmas, a nap on the living room floor, drinks with Mitch at kurtis and a late night trip to dennys. All in all, it has been an amazing holiday season. Now as the new year quickly approaches, I cannot tell you how excited i am for a fresh start. 2011 is gonna be amazing, I know it. :)

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at work

I arrived to work over an hour early today because ksl tells me that the storm of the century is right around the corner, and call me crazy but i do not want to drive in that. :) this blog is going to serve mostly as an update on life. i dont have anything to rant or rave about currently. life is just good. :) this past week or so i have been spending a lot of time with my friends and my family. my older sister has some very excited and fun news, but bloggers, i will let her tell you the details. I went and saw harry potter on friday with my family, ericka, and mr. jason russon. I had tons of fun other than jason falling asleep on my arm! but i love the boy so it was okay. ;) work is going awesome. My manager is the coolest guy ever, and he has almost as many tattoos as i do. we share in a lot of laughs and i can tell that we are gonna have a pretty awesome relationship! I have been spending a lot of time with erickas son ty, who has officially stolen my heart. I love that boy so much! christmas is coming and I am 90% done with all my christmas shopping, which is great. i feel like i have been a very productive human today! I donated thousands of clothes for a clothing drive this season, with the help of my awesome friend cassie pursell. that girl really goes all out when she sets her mind to something! thanks so much for all the help cass! as for me, i dont have my mind set on anything right now. I am taking things one day at a time, and having so much fun doing it! I love my job more than words can express, i am still staying strong *for the most part* to my diet and exercise routine. I finally get up and eat a healthy breakfast in the morning, which my personal trainer is very proud of. I am single, and not looking. I have so many awesome guy friends in my life right now, and i think i definitely need to keep it that way for a while. some people think im crazy for not dating, because i will be "alone on the holidays" but that statement is incredibly false. I have some many awesome loved ones that I will be with this holiday season. a wonderful family, amazing friends, and tons and tons of people who i love. i am such a happy girl readers. after living for two years thinking i needed someone to make me happy, i realized that the only person i need is myself. I finally have myself back. the real me. and I couldnt be happier.

daylight savings time

I figure since the clocks have decided to provide me with an extra hour on this fine evening, it is best that i use it in a productive manor! so, I write. life has been crazy busy lately so if by some off chance I have followers on this blog, I am sorry it has taken so long for me to write. I have established employment at 1-800 contacts in draper Utah, and it is an amazing job. they treat me so well there. employees really do get spoiled rotten and I feel so blessed to be given an opportunity to work for them. on top of an awesome job, they have also provided me with a gym to use and free personal training and nutrition guidence. I am strickly following a diet and work out routine and I am so excited to see the changes I can make! I have already started xmas shopping which makes me feel really productive considering I usually wait until december 20th to do that. I figured with only 3 more paychecks until xmas, its smart to get going now. I am also cleaning up my credit more and more everyday. working with some really helpful people and getting my life back on track. I feel amazing, readers. I am so pleased with where life is taking me and I know that I am finally back to being myself! no more negative influences in my life. I am surrounded by so much positivity lately that I can do no wrong! I have also started paying very close attention to my horoscope, which is helping to guide me through lifes daily struggles. I am reading more about becoming a successful human, a more powerful woman in the working world, and an all around more grounded person. all in all, I think I am making a ton of positive steps in the right direction, and I am proud of that. with time, great things will come.

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cut all ties

it is finally time for me to just do what is best for me. there are so many times over the past two years that I have compromised what I needed for what someone else wanted. and the truth is, as awful as it was, I do not regret any of it. I have learned so much about who I am. finally now I am able to be that person. I am now taking the steps to figure out not only what I need in order to make myself whole again, but what I want. for the first time in a very long time, I am able to make plans for my future, and mold it exactly how I want it. there will always be bumps along the way, and unpredictable moments. but that is what makes life interesting, isn't it? a few things that I promise will never happen again. #1. I promise to never miss the birth of my best friends child. #2. I promise to never sell my personal belongings to support a douchebags drug habit. #3. I promise to never abandon my family, friends, pets, and loved ones for a man who made me ruin my credit, go against my morals, drop my life for him, and all in all change everything about myself in a negative way. #4. I promise to never lose sight of what is important in life. I truly lost sight of that for a while. I know now, after 2 years, 2 breakups, 2000 fights, 1,000,000 tears, and a few dozen laughs, that no man is worth losing who you are, what you believe in, and where you want to go. I have goals like you wouldn't believe, and after two years of pushing myself aside, I'm ready to make my life about me again. if I said I felt good about what happened, I would be lying, because I still feel sad and dumb everyday for what i did to the people who love me, all for a man who only loved himself, and even that love is questionable. but at the end of the day, I cut the tie. I will no longer be your puppet. I control my destiny now. watch out world.

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