gotta be something more

first things first, to the blog hater. THANK YOU. i feel flattered that someone takes the time to read my  blog, and to take time out of their day to hate. your harsh words mean a lot more to you than they do to me.

next.

I am doing wonderful. Today was not as good as the past 2 have been, but it definitely had its ups. :) I ate breakfast (which NEVER happens) and went to work. work flew by. The rest of the day, other than seeing Cass, was rather mediocre. I felt a little tired and grumpy and really should have taken a nap. I took my little sister to the mall to buy a dress, because in one hour and 8 minutes, she will be 18. While at the mall, i was offered a job, which i am thinking of taking. That was another plus today.

so there is this boy........:)
he knows who he is, and he may be reading this....

he is too much of a good thing that it makes me nervous to look him in the face when i talk to him. he is a great friend, a total sweetheart, and one of the only people who have truly made me laugh lately. I feel so lost and confused about how to feel, because i am still damaged, and still healing. all i know for sure, is that while i am spending time with him, he makes me feel like im normal, and i feel like everything is going to be okay. nothing feels better lately than when we laugh at something totally stupid that i say. his laugh makes me laugh more, which makes him laugh more, and so on.  he is the definition of a genuine friend, and i feel blessed to have reconnected with him. No matter where life decides to take me in the near or distant future, one thing i know for sure is i have made a true friend, one that i hope i will not lose touch with again. he gives me butterflies, and makes life exciting. He came into my life at a time when i really needed something good, and he turned into something great. in the short time we have spent together so far he has opened my eyes to so many new ideas and a whole new way to live, and i appreciate that most of all. he is helping me find me again, which is something i have completely lost sight of........

THATS ENOUGH GUTS SPILLING!!

now, as i sit alone in my giant basement apartment thing, blogging in the dark with the sound of riding in cars with boys in the background, i find myself wondering what september will bring. August, 2010 was the hardest month i have had in quite a long time. I lost my job, had to change my relationship status on FB, moved a state away, back into my parents house, the list goes on and on. but the month has ended on such a good note, and I am so excited to see what september has in store. winter 2010, here i come!!


one last thing before i end this blog. i gotta give a shout out to my girl cassie. she is the greatest friend anyone could ask for! 10+ years of friendship and going strong. your my girl, cass. thank you for being you. :)