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Monday, October 18, 2010
it is finally time for me to just do what is best for me. there are so many times over the past two years that I have compromised what I needed for what someone else wanted. and the truth is, as awful as it was, I do not regret any of it. I have learned so much about who I am. finally now I am able to be that person. I am now taking the steps to figure out not only what I need in order to make myself whole again, but what I want. for the first time in a very long time, I am able to make plans for my future, and mold it exactly how I want it. there will always be bumps along the way, and unpredictable moments. but that is what makes life interesting, isn't it? a few things that I promise will never happen again. #1. I promise to never miss the birth of my best friends child. #2. I promise to never sell my personal belongings to support a douchebags drug habit. #3. I promise to never abandon my family, friends, pets, and loved ones for a man who made me ruin my credit, go against my morals, drop my life for him, and all in all change everything about myself in a negative way. #4. I promise to never lose sight of what is important in life. I truly lost sight of that for a while. I know now, after 2 years, 2 breakups, 2000 fights, 1,000,000 tears, and a few dozen laughs, that no man is worth losing who you are, what you believe in, and where you want to go. I have goals like you wouldn't believe, and after two years of pushing myself aside, I'm ready to make my life about me again. if I said I felt good about what happened, I would be lying, because I still feel sad and dumb everyday for what i did to the people who love me, all for a man who only loved himself, and even that love is questionable. but at the end of the day, I cut the tie. I will no longer be your puppet. I control my destiny now. watch out world.